I went on a trip to D.C. this past weekend. The Young Leader's Retreat, all expenses paid, courtesy of Center for American Progress (CAP) and Campus Progress (CP). Two liberal think tanks that promote equality of opportunity, government transparency and accountability, along with many more liberal reforms and ideals. Prior to arriving in D.C. each of us were required to read 6 different speeches, which, taken together, represented the development of American progressivism since the beginning of the 20th century. Two days before my flight to D.C., Russell, the intern for Campus Progress, sent us another article to read by John Judis. Out of the 7 required readings two were by African Americans --Obama & MLK's Birmingham letter. I read all but two of the speeches in the week before the trip. While flying into Denver I read the last two, Obama's speech and John Judis' article on Anti-statism. I touched down at Reagan National Airport at about 5 p.m. From there, I took the Metro to 17th street and walked to the Beacon Hotel off the corner of Rhode Island. I checked in and got on the elevator. My room was on the 5th floor. In order to get the elevator to go up you had to swipe your card, which was annoying. The room was spacious, although the arrangement of the furniture was odd. No one but the person whose bed was closest to the door could see the TV. The couches and chairs were situated in the corner of the room. I saw my roommate's bag by the bed closest to the window. Before my arrival I hadn't thought much about what kind of people would be attending the retreat with me. To be fair though, I only half expected them to be pseudo-intellectual Enlightenment aged thinkers. I suspected that there would be few blacks and that they would be excessively liberal to appease their white progressive counterparts. But I didn't want to write everybody off before I was able to meet them and hear their philosophies and ideas. So I pushed such assumptions toward the back of my mind. He came in the room as I was walking toward the door. I introduced myself and asked where he was from. He attends some liberal school up north. We sat and talked about superficial things for a few moments before he left. While lying on the bed I sent Solomon a message on facebook to see if he was at the hotel yet. About 15 minutes later he and Zim called on three-way. He asked me to meet him in the lobby in 5.

He was sitting down watching TV when I walked up. When he stood up grinning, I saw that he was wearing an Obama t-shirt. His jacket bore the Ignite Greensboro emblem proudly.
"Where's my button?" I asked accusatorily.
"Zim didn't give it to me!"
We walked to the CVS two blocks down. He needed chapstick because of the cold weather and I needed soap because I forgot to pack some. I hate that cheap little bar of soap they provide at the hotel. It irritates my skin. On our way there, he mentioned that his roommate was a white guy who attended Harvard. It made him feel small I think. "I'm just from a little small community college" he said smiling. I told him that it just shows that you don't have to go to some expensive school to be progressive and contribute intellectually to solutions for the problems of our time. At CVS he picked up some Chapstick and candy while I bought soap and tic tacs. I was about to pick up a tube of toothpaste but Solomon told me they give it free at the hotel. On the way back Solomon went on and on about why he didn't dress casually. Something about how you'll always find him in a t-shirt and jeans and not conforming to the social norms of professionalism. I don't know. Maybe it's one of his ways of bucking the system, challenging accepted norms, and being a non-conformist.

Everybody was to meet in the lobby at 7:20 to walk over to this Italian restaurant for dinner. Solomon and I got back to the hotel at about 7:05. Nobody was in the lobby yet. We went back up to our rooms to drop off our stuff. When I came back down there were only a few of the students in the lobby. Two Africans, Solomon, and a few whites. Russell, the intern who organized the retreat, casually identified and introduced himself as soon as I walked up. I greeted everyone individually and almost immediately forgot their names. Jameel and Greg--the two Africans-- are the only names that stuck. I couldn't even remember my roommate's name. Several small conversations took place simultaneously. I, Greg, and a white girl chatted for a few moments. She asked him where he was from. It struck me as odd when he replied "Virginia", especially considering his heavy accent. Was he ashamed of his African nationality or just proud to be a Virginian? Later someone asked where he was from originally and he said Ghana. Russell introduced himself again out loud to everyone, quieting our mini conversations. He thanked us for coming and explained that we were going to wait a few more minutes to give others time to get to the lobby. He threw out several general questions for someone to respond to, a feeble attempt at an icebreaker. Occasionally someone would offer a response or mildly comical commentary; our collective laughter was followed by stiff silence. Often, after someone spoke, we stood there with our gaze fixed on the ground, nodding incessantly. More people got off the elevator which meant more introductions. I didn't get the opportunity to meet everyone right then. Though, I caught a few glimpses of everyone before we headed off. I saw a light skinned black girl and almost immediately wrote her off as a tom. It was something about the way she looked. The way she smiled.

On the way to the restaurant, I had the opportunity to talk to Greg, the Virginian, one on one. First he continued to complain about his difficulty traveling. Something about some Spanish speaking woman he asked for help and how he didn't understand a word she was saying. I listened quietly as he talked about the stresses of student government and how his bid for SGA president took a turn for the worse. At Westminster, the Greeks have dominated student government for decades, he explained. It was a long standing tradition that he was challenging. He was ardently involved in campus life (later he mentioned that he was president of the debate team). I asked him if, after completing college, he wanted to go back to Ghana. "I want to go wherever my job leads me" he answered. Finally, he asked me what I was passionate about. His question took me slightly off guard. "Social equality and justice for African Americans" I stammered. He asked, skeptically, if i believed there was still racism in America. When I replied yes he looked to the ground silently as though he was processing what I said. Instead of explaining in detail why, I began talking about the Palestinian struggle for freedom and justice. I spoke, at length, about how Israel's leadership is guilty of war crimes and genocide. Eventually our conversation slowly fizzled out, long responses became "yep" and "yea its crazy". He walked up and began to talk to one of the white girls while I fell back and talked to Solomon.

Our reservation was at 8 and so when we arrived at the restaurant we had to wait about twenty minutes before being seated. I was standing in the back with Solomon, an Indian girl named Nisha, and a short white Jewish girl with glasses. I felt alienated. They mostly talked amongst themselves. Occasionally I'd listen in for an opportunity to join the conversation but it was difficult to relate to anything they talked about. Solomon found common ground through talking about classes, something I couldn't do being a graduate and all. I hate superficial conversation. It feels so fake. So unnatural. It makes the air between me and the other person feel stiff and dense. And when awkward silence ensues a void is in the atmosphere; all feeble attempts to end the unsettling silence only stiffening the air more. I found myself trying to engage in conversation with people I know I'd probably never talk to in any other informal circumstance. Nonetheless, I performed this perfunctory duty in anticipation of Saturday's discussions about things consequential. "Perhaps I'll find ideological common ground even", I thought. After what seemed like hours of endless waiting they finally seated us. They had several booths reserved for us. I sat at one in the back with Solomon, Nisha, and the Jewish girl. Later, Arielle from Campus Progress came and sat with us too. I had wished that I could've sat with Greg and pick his brain, determine where exactly he stood. I'm glad Solomon was there. Nisha came off puffy and aristocratic. The Jewish girl, aloof (at least toward me). David Halperin, director of CP, came by each table and chatted with everyone. Another man, John Halpin representing CAP, came by and also shook our hands (something I don't understand why they would do since we were at the dinner table). Each of them stood up and spoke during dinner in addition to another man named John Judis (who was the keynote speaker). No black people present from neither Campus Progress nor Center for American Progress. Later when I pointed out the lack of black representation, Zim kept mentioning Erica, the token negro, and how great she is. It is no disrespect to Erica of course, because I'm sure she is great, phenomenal even. I saw her picture and read her profile on Campus Progress' website. She's a very beautiful dark skinned sista. Under her profile it stated that she served as a field associate at the Leadership Conference on Civil Rights before coming to CP. Curious, I looked to see how many of the other Campus Progress staffers dealt with Civil Rights, Social Equality, or other issues of particular importance to African Americans. There was only one other person, a girl who appeared Indonesian or perhaps Indian. Out of the 20 members of the CP staff, two are black, 3 are neither white nor black and the rest are white. As far as CAP goes, the entire executive committee and senior staff are white and out of the 41 CAP fellows, 2 are black. Its not farfetched to assume that the rest of the staff there is similar in terms of demographics. I cite these numbers not to suggest that these organizations are racist or discriminatory. Rather, I believe that the notion of it being "all inclusive" or "all encompassing", like Zim contends, is not quite so. John Judis spoke for about an hour a half about the development of American Progressivism. I liked his speech. It was...thought provoking.

After he finished, he took questions. Jameel, the African with the very American accent, asked one. I don't remember what it was, probably because his question was so damn nebulous. It was preceded by long ass intellectually pretentious comments. One of the white girls asked a poorly constructed question. I cringed as she was trying to articulate it. I decided to ask my question after it seemed everyone else was done.

"You mentioned during your talk that the American Administration ebbs and flows with progressives running the country at some points in history, then staunch conservatives coming to power at other points. Do you think that it will be an endless tug of war and do you think that when conservatives come to power they will overturn the liberal reforms made?"

He answered saying no because once there is popular support for reforms it's unlikely for a new administration to come in and rescind them. Half true. It depends on the collective attitude of America. When Reagan got into office he began rolling back many of the gains made during the Civil Rights era; his policies, aptly named Reaganomics, essentially amounted to the federal government neglecting to enforce laws passed during the Civil Rights Movement. These CRM reforms were supposedly reflective of the changing tide in America's attitude toward African Americans, the supposed ushering in of a new age of tolerance. Yeah, right. Was there really popular support from White America for these new reforms enacted under LBJ's administration? Malcolm X accused the gov't of making the majority of white Americans become hypocrites by federally mandating blacks to be admitted into the mainstream. He contended that Whites would be accepting of blacks only because of not wanting to be called a bigot and violating federal law. There are basically only two ways to view the advent of Reaganomics: either most of America did not support civil rights reforms--due to indifference or outright opposition--or so called popular support for progressive reforms was not able to prevent their overturning. Either way, Reagenomics poses a problem for Mr. Judis' claims. All this was an afterthought. I would have loved to see how he would have responded to my contention. Rum Tiramisu was for desert. It was disgusting. I'd give dinner overall a C+.

Eventually, we all left together and went back to the hotel. On the way there, I battled for position around Greg. Nisha and the Jewish girl were on either side of him. I was trying to hear the conversation so that I could participate but it was to no avail. I gave up and fell back into the distance. Their chatter dulled as I zoned out and focused on the sound of the city. I could still hear Nisha exclaiming "omg me too" as Gregory talked about projects and activities he engaged in on campus. Solomon and I spotted a Krispy Kreme at about the halfway point of our journey back. The hot light was on. "Don't entice me!" he barked when I pointed it out to him. We talked about possibly coming back later. Once we got to the hotel I told him that if he wanted to go that I was game. I wasn't in my room 15 minutes before he texted me asking if I still wanted to go. I was hoping that the hot light hadn’t gone off. In Greensboro if you saw the hot light on you had better turn in immediately, cut off traffic if it so required. Because if you blinked the light was off. We ordered a dozen and split it. I bought a coffee while he asked for water. Water and donuts? I don't quite understand that one. We sat there for the longest eating donuts and talking about capitalism, racism, books like Before the Mayflower and George Jackson's prison letters. We wondered what the discussion would be like on Saturday. As deep and penetrating as we had talked, we hoped. It was almost 2:00 a.m. when we got back to the hotel. The highly anticipated day of intellectual discussion was 7 hours away.

When it said that we would have breakfast on our itinerary for the day, I thought it actually meant breakfast. I forgot how loosely defined that word is and how the meaning varies. Breakfast has become one of those ambiguous words like "refreshments." What the hell are refreshments anyway? A full course meal is refreshing to me. And breakfast is pancakes with hot maple syrup, scrambled eggs, lean turkey bacon, and fruit with a tall glass of apple juice. We didn't start with an ice breaker. But I guess most of the initial tension had subsided since we got to know each other some at dinner the night before. Still, we went around the room introducing ourselves and giving a little biographical information. I thought Solomon would mention Ignite Greensboro. And I thought I would mention my interest in organizing in black communities. After introductions we were given a small exercise. "Write what you believe the theory of progressivism is and its practical application. Then make a list of people that have most influenced your world view" Halpin instructed. John Halpin was the facilitator for the day's discussion. He was assisted by CAP Joint Fellow, Ruy Teixeira. There was a general trend in everyone's responses. But what struck me was Greg and Jameel's list of people that influenced them. Europeans. White Americans. Hell they probably listed a few Australians. But no blacks. (Greg did mention one black--Dr. King). Melissa, the girl I wrote off as a Tom, disconfirmed my preconceived notions about her. She mentioned the Black Panthers and a whole lotta Pan-Africanists as people that influenced her world view. A girl came in late and sat down at the head of the table by the projector. She was a heavy set light skinned black girl with an oriental look. Halpin filled her in on what we were doing. She introduced herself, told us what her view of progressivism was, and then listed those who influenced her thought. "We're about to go over Roosevelt's speech after the exercise" Halpin told her. Without any prompt whatsoever, she dropped a bombshell that leveled the white liberal praise of historic American figures considered "progressive".
"I have a question. How could Roosevelt be progressive and racist at the same time?" My eyes shot back over to Halpin to see his reaction. Immediately I knew where she stood. You see, handkerchief head uncle tom Negroes don't talk like that. Halpin--slightly flustered--answered that it was one of the paradoxes in progressive history and that we would get to it later. "It" must have referred the question of race. What I've noticed about white liberals, generally speaking, is that not many of them will talk forthrightly about race. They can't ignore the implication of race because that would push them into the same category as their conservative counterparts. Instead, they deal with race gingerly. They use vague expressions like "minority groups" or "minority children", which lumps us all together with other ethnicities different from the dominant group. Granted, I have read and heard some of them speak bluntly about racial injustice and inequity. But very few. And even fewer will go as far as to label the government and its racist policies as genocidal. They're just not willing to go that far, partly for political reasons and partly because its too much too sacrifice. How many of them would be willing to give up life and limb to see us free the way John Brown did at Harper's ferry all those years ago?

When it was my turn to introduce myself I only gave basic information: name, school attended, and place of residence. Halpin didn't give me the opportunity to state who influenced my world view. After compiling it I felt apprehensive about saying it anyways. I assumed I would be the only one listing radical and controversial figures. Farrakhan, Malcolm X, Kwame Toure, Noam Chomsky, Na'im Akbar, and James Baldwin. Though, after hearing Solomon, Melissa, and Margaret's list I felt a little less alienated. I was wearing a black t-shirt with Malcolm X and Alex Haley on the front that I got the last time I was in DC. It was actually a gift, from Lula. She kept raving about how beautiful Cherry Blossoms are when we were at the Washington Monument. So when she went to the restroom, I went to the little store and bought her some to plant. Not to be outdone, when we visited Greater Goods later that day, she bought me the shirt. Wearing it might have been taken as a show of defiance since Malcolm is still a very controversial figure to White America. And why wouldn't he be? He called them devils for over a decade. We jumped right into analyzing Teddy Roosevelt's New Nationalism speech after the exercise. Halpin wanted us to extract the Progressive themes and values implicit in Roosevelt's speech. I remembered reading the speech in the family room of my grandparent's house. I was sitting in my grandfather's lazy-boy chair thinking about how Roosevelt tossed around phrases like "equality of opportunity", "standing for the square deal", and "destruction of special privilege" while my people were demoralized. How hypocritical. Driving special interests out of politics, the primacy of human rights over property rights, regulating the use of wealth for the public interest--key issues all spoken of eloquently by Roosevelt. But what about the question of race? W.E.B. Dubois prophetically spoke of the color-line being the number one problem of the 20th century, and yet Roosevelt was silent on the issue. Next we dealt with FDR's Commonwealth Club address in the same way we dealt with Teddy's speech: extract and discuss the progressive values.

There was a general pattern, a common strain in all of these speeches (save Dr. King's Birmingham letter). They all talked about redefining the democratic process by making sure the individual citizen was included in the decision making process. A novel concept. Though, the key commonality was that they all were virtually silent on the problems of race relations. While some of the speeches we read--dated in the 60's--did speak of racial inequality, it did so on a cursory basis and only because the problem race presented at the time--has ALWAYS presented--could no longer be ignored, swept under the rug. In today's political scene, the interests and issues facing the black community still get this silent treatment, mere cursory mentions, summarily dealt with using obscure blanket political jargon. Our interests get very little attention in the halls of Congress and on Capitol Hill. They're treated as merely footnotes of the problems facing the nation. Let me take the time now to reiterate Kwame Toure, formerly known as Stokely Carmichael. We, as black people, can not make the mistake of thinking that the interests of White America and our interests are the same. It is true that some domestic (and foreign) policies affect us all irrespective of ethnicity. But that doesn't mean that we have the same interests. Our issues, our interests are not even on the table for democratic discussion. When H.R. 40 was first proposed by Congressman John Conyers in 1989, it was summarily rejected. The bill stipulated that congress merely study the issue of Reparations to determine whether or not blacks should receive them. They wouldn't even consider considering it. Since then the bill has only made meager progress. This is a major reason our communities are dying. We keep making the fundamental mistake that someone else will look out for our interests. We are a unique people in a unique historical position. The methods used to fix social problems in broader America won't work in our communities. We are in a much more dire condition than the rest of the nation. The media keeps talking about the crisis of a double digit national unemployment rate. Black America's unemployment rate has been in double digits for decades despite the growth of the black middle class. The approach and methods taken to deal with problems we face should reflect the dire nature of the problems. If there is radical poverty in our communities we need radical solutions. Radical language needs to be used to describe what needs to be done.

Eventually we got around to Dr. King's Letter from Birmingham jail. Greg spoke eloquently and passionately about the speech, summing up all its salient points. Halpin smiled on Greg's enthusiasm over the letter. Then he posed a question to the group: "We all like this letter, we say it's our favorite one, but what is different about Dr. King's letter?" He was a fairly good facilitator. He posed decent lead questions that kept us engaged, for the most part. However, for some of his questions, he was looking for a very specific response. That seemed antithetical to the notion he advanced that "we're not here to give you a certain point of view about progressivism, but to help you develop your own." He was looking for a specific answer to his question about King's letter. I knew what he was driving at. King's brand of progressivism was faith-based. Greg mentioned King's distinction between an unjust law and a just law; a just law being rooted in eternal moral law i.e. the law of God. Halpin took that point and tried to open it up for discussion. I suppose he wanted us to explore the potential dilemma that invoking the law of God had on the progressive movement. But the conversation took a different turn, probably one he didn't expect. Solomon began to go on his secular black nationalist analysis of (rant about) religion--Christianity in particular--being used to enslave black people. Melissa offered a similar critique about the Church's role in the enslavement and oppression of black people. I think they both felt that Dr. King represented the religion of the oppressor. I agreed with them both, in principle. But I responded to them and explained that their analysis of Dr. King was superficial. After reading James H. Cone's Malcolm and Martin and America, A dream or a nightmare? I saw a depth to Martin's theological and social views I didn't see before. He wasn't this accommodationist passive uncle tom he is portrayed to have been by Black Nationalists. This is not to say that I agree with his basic faith in the goodwill of White America to fully integrate us into the mainstream (hell he lost faith in that pipe dream toward the end of his life). But, Martin didn't subscribe to the pie-in-the-sky theology that the slave master taught us. He lambasted black preachers and pastors who taught of an otherworldly heaven while neglecting to teach the people how to make a better reality for them here and now. He also wondered what god the white preachers and congregations served in their church, a question real uncle tom's would never ask massuh. Dr. King was a very complex man with noble ideals, regardless to how naive some of them were. He was indeed a man ahead of his time. After explaining that King shouldn't be dismissed because he was a Christian, I tried to explain the role the black church has played in our fight for social justice. Most of our great leaders came out of the church; the church was the most important social institution in our survival and advancement in the bowels of North America, notwithstanding Christianity being the slavemaster's religion. For instance, Nat Turner took the Bible and used it as the philosophical basis for rebelling against the slavemaster. The gradual development of Black Liberation Theology redefined certain elements of the Eurocentric Christianity we were forced to adopt.

Melissa sorta looked away the whole time I was explaining. I'm not sure if she was really listening or not. Halpin moved on without comment. Nobody commented. Again, issues regarding race were sidestepped. Every time it was brought up it was me or Solomon or Melissa or Margaret that did so. And the response was always the same. Silence. A conspiracy of silence. And everybody in the room was a co-conspirator. We moved swiftly on to the next speech by Robert Kennedy. I sat there disappointed. The whole time I kept wondering what the role of African-Americans was in the Progressive movement. During our entire exploration of the development of American progressivism since the early 20th century, black people have been conspicuously absent. I was beginning to understand more and more about what Ralph Ellison meant by Invisible Man. The dominant group barely acknowledges our presence. And when we are mentioned it is in the manner Alaine Lock described in The New Negro, we're spoken of more as a "formula than a human being--a something to be argued about, condemned or defended, to be 'kept down', or 'in his place', or 'helped up', to be worried with or worried over, harassed or patronized, a social bogey or a social burden." After Kennedy's speech we discussed A New Foundation by President Obama. In it, the President explained--in laymen's terms--what caused the financial market to crash in the fall of last year. He used very clear and concise language. He defended his policies and showed how they were all interrelated to help bring about a recovery. No one had any disagreements with Obama's policies. To conclude our discussion on the speeches from the 60's and beyond, Halpin asked the group what happened that the progressive movement of the 60's lost momentum and waned. One girl said that division among progressive camps was responsible. Solomon contended that drugs had destroyed the movement, in addition to the "good ole boys" feeling that the youth were taken the country on a perilous course. Everyone seemed to have an opinion on the matter. I and three other people simultaneously raised our hands. "We're running over time, so we need to have lunch so we can move on" Halpin said. We broke for lunch. Burrito wraps and tortilla chips. I wasn't hungry. I tried to eat some of the chips but my stomach rejected them.

Margaret who had came in late and dropped the race bomb on Halpin, was sitting to my left. I began talking to her about urban blight and urban renewal and what it meant for the black community. She wasn't familiar with what I was referring to so I explained how, after integration, black businessmen left the black community. Black flight is what they call it. Once a place of vibrant businesses and a degree of economic growth, the black community began to deteriorate and be reduced to the slums we see today. After chatting with her I turned to talk to Solomon. I told him that what really dismantled the progressive movement of the 60s was integration. Since black people were the vanguards of the Movement for social change in the 60's, when they divided us, drugged us, and offered us high paying jobs to become part of the establishment, it destroyed the movement. Lunch had ended. We gathered back around the table for more discussion. Halpin broke us up into three groups and assigned each of one of the following topics: Economic and Domestic policy, Social policy, and International affairs and national security. We had to determine the progressive point of view in the area assigned. Melissa, my roommate, a white girl with a terrible lisp, and Greg made up my group. Halpin gave us International Affairs and National Security. My specialty. I immediately began throwing out ideas. "America needs to respect the sovereignty of other nations and allow every people the right to self determination, as prescribed in the Universal Declaration of Human Rights." We chose the girl with the lisp as our spokesman, so she began writing down what I said. "Civil liberties should not be circumscribed in the name of national security." Greg spoke up about diplomacy: "We should not use military force as the first means to resolve conflict. It should be a last resort. Diplomacy should be the first tactic would use." He mentioned the three D's, diplomacy, development, and defense. He contended that alongside diplomacy, America should be in the business giving economic aid (strictly distinguished from charity). If America wants to really help a nation achieve autonomy it should spend money training the people and helping with institution building. This is almost the complete opposite of the foreign policies of the Bush Administration. Thus, in a way, his values were opposed to the "enlightened progressive values" that we were advocating.

Melissa jumped in the mix and contributed to the discussion and so did the girl with the lisp. After we assembled our list of progressive values relating to national security and foreign policy Melissa began talking about the negative effects of capitalism. My roommate, perhaps holding it in for too long now, felt the need to defend his America. I suppose he felt we were being too hard on the noble and well-meaning Republic. He said that after WWII we were the last superpower remaining on earth and that we "fucking saved the world". Then he went on an anti-communism rant, "Communism is bad, bad, bad. It's just bad." I looked at Melissa. Her face was contorted at his remarks. "What do you mean?" she asked. He never looked at her. He gazed downward and kept talking about how America was the Great Hope and that it was in the unique position to be leader of the [free] world. Ha. White folks love their America, I tell you. That's one thing conservatives, democratic, liberals, progressives, racists all have in common--they love America. They have faith in America and the American way of life--or what they call "the American Dream". I'm like Malcolm. I don't see a dream. I see a nightmare. No matter how liberal these whites are, they're still defenders of capitalism. Defenders of a tradition and a legacy of exploitation and oppression, injustice and murder. Before, while discussing the Port Huron letter, Halpin noted the need for movements and organizations like labor unions to address issues that Capitalism doesn't address, like poverty. lol now this is clever. He failed to point out that it is Capitalism that creates these issues of poverty and inequity. Instead of admit that capitalism is a destructive force and a flawed economic theory, they'd much rather talk about ways to offset its negative effects. This is typical of your white liberals. That's why I said they're only willing to bend so far when it comes to the sensitive issues of race, capitalism, and more importantly the relationship between the two. Capitalism is--as one of my professors in college explained--a system of exploitation. What's more is that the market morality it creates puts the value of commodities over human life, i.e. a base materialism. The commodities that labor produces are more valued than labor itself. This is what you saw all throughout the period of chattel slavery. What people fail to understand is that the theory of Capitalism itself is flawed. Adam Smith posited that the individual pursuit of economic prosperity or self-interest would benefit the common good. It would create competition and provide products and services for the community. Sounds good, right? But who is to say that an individual, free to pursue his self-interest, will look out for the common good? There's too much room for greed, corruption, and exploitation. The white progressives know this and talk about regulating private property for the common good if the means by which the individual acquired his wealth was unjust. Well what about the wealth that white America acquired through 310 years of free labor? Is that not subject to regulation and to be used to bring us out of our desolate condition? More evidence that white progressive discuss their values and goals without you in mind. They have broader America in mind and that ain't you brotha! That ain't you sista!

Each group presented what they came up with. We were chosen to go first but at the last minute the lisp girl had a change of heart. She didn't want to be the spokesperson for our group. I decided to read what we had aloud. After the rest of the groups went Halpin assigned us new topics. This time my group had financial reform. We took a short break before starting the next round. Marta, who worked for CP, told us that cookies and brownies were on the table outside. I went out to grab a cookie; Melissa was standing at the table beside me getting a brownie. I walked up and asked her what her name was again (I already knew though because we all had name tags sitting on the table in front of us). She told me that she was from Brooklyn but attends Hampton. She started telling me about the Black is Back coalition rally she recently attended protesting the incarceration of political prisoner Mumia Abu Jamal. She said something about Africom but I couldn't hear her over the loud conversations around us. Halpin tried to steer us back into the room to finish up the activity. Everyone was too consumed with their conversations to pay him any mind. I came back in because Melissa went to the restroom. Eventually people began to slowly ease back into the room still chattering and munching on brownies and cookies. None of us knew much of anything about financial reform. We just sat there for the first few minutes in silence. Finally somebody blurted out that they weren't qualified to speak on financial reform. It was hard and grueling but in time we came up with some progressive financial reforms. Reining in outrageous credit card interest rates and overdraft fees. Regulating corporate and financial institution's misappropriation of funds. Stricter penalties and more oversight of banks lending practices. Prevention of fraudulent investments on Wall Street (greedy bastards). Oh, and investment in education, K-12 and community colleges. Melissa commented on the failure of public education. The lisp girl tossed her a cold stern look and said "What do you mean, public education doesn't work". Her blinks seemed to be controlled instead of involuntary. White folks always demanding an explanation if you say something they don't like or that they find questionable. That's how they did Sonia Sotomayor. Dave Chappelle said that that was part of the reason he left and went to Africa. Melissa explained to her that the schools are failing to produce leading scientists, doctors and scholars that are competitive in the world market; instead, it has undereducated students. At least that's how I interpreted what she said. Halpin called time and we all went back to our seats. I was again the spokesperson for our group, but this time we went last. When it was our turn I read what we had come up with. I added that the underlying idea of progressive financial reform was that financial institutions were subject to regulations because their practices affect the nation's well being. Judging by Ruy's expression, he was impressed by what we had to say.

The last group that went had Afghanistan as their topic of discussion. We wrapped up with a few remarks on the war and the progressive direction to take. This is where there was the most ideological inconsistency I think. One guy remarked that he thinks we should stay the course in Iraq because if we pulled out it would leave a power vacuum. He said he doesn't care if it takes us 100 years, we should keep sending troops and continue to fight. The topic shifted a bit, toward the question of what's considered a legitimate political party. This was in reference to warring and controversial political factions in Afghanistan and within America. Jameel said that he believed that if a political party's ideals are contrary to progressive ideals, its illegitimate and has no right to exist. He cited the example of Germany's policy of disallowing the formation of political parties contrary to the ideals Germany's constitution was founded upon. Halpin raised the question of who would decide what's legitimate and what isn't. He provided the example of conservatives accusing Obama of being a socialist and his policies being contrary to the American way. I zoned out toward the end. I was tired. The whole time I felt that I was being ignored in the larger discussion. Evaluation sheets were passed out. Under the question of "what should be discussed more?" I wrote "the role of African Americans in the progressive movement". We took a group picture and headed back to the hotel. On the way there I was walking toward the back of the group as always. I saw Melissa and Margaret off to the side talking. I moved up to hear what they were discussing. I heard Margaret say that she thought we would get back to race as Halpin had claimed. I eased up beside Melissa and jumped in the conversation. "Yea and we barely talked about Dr. King's letter" I added. Margaret said she was hoping that King's critique of the white Moderate would be discussed. I knew better. Some of them white folks in the room were who King was talking about. They started laughing and talking about how they didn't read any of the speeches. I was surprised at first but didn't say a word. I had read every speech but to not appear like a goody-good I didn't mention that I did. When we were almost to the hotel, Melissa asked me if I was gonna go out later. I told her I didn't know and asked what they had planned. She said that she didn't want to go with the rest of the crowd to Bus Boys and Poets. "I'm tired of them" she said flatly. The rest of the crowd stood outside the hotel while me Margaret and Melissa walked in and got on the elevator. When we got to their floor Melissa said for everybody to meet downstairs at 7. I found out when I got in my room that everybody [else] was meeting in the lobby at 6:30 pm. My roommate asked me if I was going with them. I told him I was gonna hang with Melissa and Margaret. He coerced me into giving him my number. I took his down on a piece a paper so I wouldn't look like a jerk.

I was in the lobby at about 15 minutes till 7 on the phone with Zim. Margaret was the first to come down. I asked her where Melissa. Negroes always late. When she finally came down I got off the phone with Zim. We started walking without a real sense of where we wanted to go. I told them I was hungry so we looked for a place to eat. When we got over by Krispy Kreme we didn't see any restaurants to our liking i.e. with a sufficient amount of black people in them. "Where the black people at?" I asked. Melissa was on a tight budget, so she kept saying that she wanted to go somewhere cheap, ten dollars and under. We decided to walk over to U Street, where the black people resided (and where this cheap black owned soul food joint was located). Melissa asked me where Solomon was. When I told her that he was with the rest of them she scoffed. "Why is he with them?" I shrugged. Part of me wished I was with the rest of them, especially when I found out what Bus Boys & Poets was. Bookstore slash restaurant slash literary arts center slash fair trade market slash ever-f*ckin-thing. I wanted to eat somewhere nice, a lively and exuberant atmosphere. I wanted to explore the city. But I resolved to align myself with the loners. The self-segregationists. The self-styled outcasts. I felt obligated to roll with them though. My authenticity was at stake. I would have felt like a traitor to even suggest that we go with them to Bus Boys. The walk to U Street was a long one but we passed the time in deep conversation about issues relating to black people. Margaret was telling us about how she wrote dozens of letters to political prisoners. Melissa asked her if she received any responses as I listened quietly. When we got to U Street, Melissa said that the soul food joint was not too far. When we arrived she kept saying, "I hope you like it." I told her I hope I like it too. I looked at the menu. Half of the things they served were either swine or something I didn't eat. Chitterlings, fried chicken, ham, cornbread...I started getting nauseous. Just reach into my chest and stop my heart now, why dontcha. Good grief! I got whiting, green beans, macaroni and cheese and bread rolls. As we were walking out with our food a white guy pulled up in a BMW and walked in. Melissa did a double take. I laughed and said "You aint know?" There were three patio chairs and no table sitting outside of the restaurant. We took a seat, ate, and talked. It wasn't a very upscale scene but the food was good and so was the fellowship. I was beginning to enjoy myself and not regret my decision to go with them.

After about half an hour we got up and walked down U Street. I began talking to Melissa about education and economic development. "See what we need is our own schools. That way we can create a curriculum with an African/Black centered focus on each subject. Its more psychologically healthy for black children than for them to continue to learn about what Europeans contributed to civilization. The Lotus Academy and the Muhammad University of Islam have set good precedents." She listened and asked questions periodically. When I said that collectively we are rich but individually we are poor her face became contorted. "We are wasteful and don't pool our resources to build homes and schools" I argued. She retorted that discriminatory housing laws and other policies were responsible and prevented us from economic development.

"Let me paint a picture for you" I said with excessive hand gestures. "The Nation of Islam under the leadership of Elijah Muhammad set the perfect model of economic empowerment, of what we can achieve in unity of purpose. He built a multi-million dollar empire from money donated by the believers. He developed schools, bakeries, cleaners, and was working on building a Hospital complex. He bought farm land to grow crops to feed the people and to provide jobs for them. He had commercial contracts with the Peruvian fishing industry and sought to establish international trade. And he didn't receive a dime for the government to fund these projects. Nor did he let economic obstacles and barriers such as racist policies and laws get in the way."

We stopped at a restaurant that was closing so that Melissa could use the bathroom. Margaret, who was listening to me the whole time, asked if I had read Karl Evanzz's The Messenger: The Rise and Fall of Elijah Muhammad I told her I read An Original Man: The Life and Times of Elijah Muhammad by Historian Claude Clegg. "It's a better history of the Messenger and the NOI because it was written by an actual historian" I explained. "All other accounts of the Nation of Islam and Elijah Muhammad were done by journalists, sociologists, or comparative religion scholars." She maintained that Evanzz's book was unbiased and equally talked of the merits and setbacks of the Muslim Movement. "I don't like the way Farrakhan handled that situation with Dr. Khalid. Nor do I like how Elijah Muhammad dealt with Malcolm X" she complained. I told her that Malcolm X and Dr. Khalid both had a conception of how they thought the Nation of Islam should operate, the direction in which it should take. Dr. Khalid was too pro-black. Some of his remarks were incendiary and guided by a spirit of hate and not a spirit of love. Nevertheless, he never did lose a debate and was thorough in defense of even some of his most questionable remarks. Like, for example, when he said that the blacks in South Africa should give the ruling clique of whites 24 hours to get out before killing the men, women, and children. Spare no one, he said. Not even the babies. When people heard that they accused him of being a cold and heartless advocate of violence and murder. So he got on the Phil Donahue show and said that when the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor General Macarthur & President Truman gave the Japanese a period of time. But when they didn't comply America dropped two nuclear bombs on the civilian populations of Hiroshima and Nagasaki killing over 200,000 men, women, and children instantly. The American people consider President Truman and General Macarthur heroes. This was true. Khalid pointed out a clear double standard that exists. As I told Melissa later, the heroes of the oppressors are usually the despots of the oppressed. Neither Margaret nor Melissa went as far as to blame the Nation of Islam for Malcolm's death. Melissa, later, even commented that "they" (the FBI) killed him. Melissa wanted to walk over to the famous Ben's Chili restaurant. On the way there we talked about coalition building, "I don't believe in building coalitions with these white liberal organizations. I think they're too out of touch with the concerns of our communities and we don't have common enough interests" I argued. I told her that I agreed with Kwame Toure' and Malcolm X's skepticism of white liberal organization's intentions. White money and Black power don't mix to me. Any patronage from white liberals, no matter how well-intentioned, is of necessity paternalistic because of the racial dynamics of power in America. We had arrived at Ben's Chili and right before we went in she asked "Why did you come here then?"

Ben's Chili was popping. Black people everywhere. The diner smelled of must, chili, and hot dogs. We walked through the crowd and stopped at a wall near the back with lots of pictures on it. It looked to be a "celebrity wall". Pictures of Ben Chili's staff with famous people covered every square inch. Several of the pictures were shots of Obama. I'm guessing he visited the restaurant on more than one occasion. Melissa started complaining about the smell. We headed for the door and before exiting picked up several black newspapers and magazines from a small table. I picked up one called "The Washington Informer". On the front was a black man in a suit with glasses. He was peering over the top of his glasses at something to the left of him that wasn't shown in the picture . His hands were gestured in the opposite direction. "Maryland Black mayors Meet" was the caption on the picture. I flipped through the paper when we got outside. Every page i flipped to seemed to be talking about AIDS. Afterwards, I resumed our conversation, "The reason I came here was to learn. Meet young people like myself who are committed to social change." I had time to think about and formulate my response while we were in the restaurant. Her question had caught me off guard. "Why did you come?", I asked back. "Because CP sponsors my events. I want to make sure I keep getting sponsored. Plus it was a free trip". I was surprised at her answer, though I shouldn't have been. "This used to be the spot for blacks back in the 20's and 30's", Melissa exclaimed. We walked to the corner and stopped to decide where to go next. "Let's go somewhere where we can chill and get a drink", she proposed. Margaret responded that she didn't drink. We walked over to the African American Civil war memorial across the street from Ben's Chili. The minister's words played through my head while peering through the window. We fought, bled and died, on both sides of the war yet the pitiful reality of our existence didn't change any. We couldn't even be buried in the same cemetery as the white soldiers. Sickening. After leaving there we headed back to the hotel. Our short and uneventful exploration had come to an end. We took a different route back, going straight down U street and turning left on 16th. Nearing the roundabout Melissa asked me what I thought about Obama. "I like him." I said without elaborating. I knew she didn't think much of him from her remarks in the discussion earlier. She told the group about attending some sort of African Socialist rally where they chanted that Obama works for the white man. "You gonna vote for Obama's reelection?" I asked. "I'll vote for his dis-election" she said mockingly. "I voted for him. The next day I felt black and proud. After that I still felt like a nigga." I understood what she was saying. Obama's election wasn't some magical formula that erased all our woes. But who would be so naive to think it would? "Why do you think Obama is the white man's nigga?" I demanded. She laughed. She said that he's part of status-quo and ignores issues that affect black people. I tried to explain that he is not a black leader, that he's the President of the entire nation. Margaret agreed, "He can't just put a whole bunch of black people in his cabinet and in political positions. White people would be up in arms. "Bush did it when he was in office!" Melissa shot back. To her, Bush's nepotism made it permissible for Obama to do the same. But he didn't. So, in her eyes, he was a sellout.

We made it back to the hotel at 9:30. The night wasn't just young, it had barely been born. We got on the elevator and headed to our rooms. My floor was right above theirs so they got off first. As the elevator was closing, Melissa turned and asked if I wanted to come to Margaret's room and chill. I jumped off right before it closed. Margaret's roommate was one of the "Becky's". There were two of them. She was still out on the town, so we were free to talk as we had been. Margaret told us that Becky was smoking weed the night before with some random guy. She arrived late last night so Becky assumed she wasn't coming. She busted up in the room to find Becky and some white dude hitting the pipe. lol. Here I was, sitting in a hotel room on a Saturday night in D.C. with two sistas whose contempt for white people was greater than mine. Though, I've always been more distrustful and skeptical of their good intentions rather than loathsome of their being. That's just me personally. I remember one night in the study circle at the Mosque a brother blurted out that he hated the white man. I cringed when I heard it. He repeated it and inarticulately explained why. Brotha John said we "need brothas like that. brothas that hate. brothas that love." But in a Hadith of the Prophet, a man asked him "What kind of fighting is in Allah's way? for some of us fight because of rage and anger and some because of pride and haughtiness." The Prophet said he who fights so that Allah's word is superior fights in Allah's way. Why then is hate necessary for the movement to continue? Melissa's comments about the Fort Hood massacre made me shudder: "I was laughing when they got killed." Margaret uttered a similarly cold remark: "Me too, I was trying to figure out if there were any black people that got shot." I sat there in an uncomfortable silence. Changing the subject, I asked if they heard about the black guy in Cleveland who killed all those black women. We started talking about tragic incidents over the years relating to black people after that. "Did yall hear about that 13 year old black kid that was shot execution style by an off-duty cop?" I asked indignantly. "Whaaaaa?" they exclaimed. "Yea! The cop thought that the boy stole his bike off his porch. He claimed the boy had a gun but none was found." Margaret asked if we had heard about these black children who were tied up and had apples stuffed in their mouth, "They were beaten to death with a baseball bat". I lowered my head and gazed at the floor. "That's terrible." I mumbled. "Yea, no one deserves to die...except white people" Melissa muttered. I kept talking, stopping in mid-sentence when I realized what she said, "Wait did you just say nobody deserves to die except white people?" She was laying down on her side in a semi fetal position with her legs propped up on an ottoman. The way she positioned herself was so that her back was not completely facing me. Leaning halfway forward, she turned and faced me casting a look that said: don't you even think of saying otherwise. "They've killed millions and billions of us" she said vindictively. "Yea, you're right. They have." I admitted. I couldn't disagree with that. But does it justify saying they all should die?

I brought up the Dr. Kamau Kambon c-span video and asked if they had seen it. Margaret had but Melissa hadn't.
"What are we gonna do when the war breaks out yall?", Melissa asked, "we gotta find a way to kill them".
"I don't know but what we need to do is call crime stoppers on them, make up a crime and give the police their address and name" Margaret suggested, "but you gotta call from a pay phone cuz its not really anonymous."
"Ha! What! Have you done that?" Melissa asked laughing.
"Yep, I do it to white people who piss me off or say something racist. But you gotta make the crime believable. Then when the police go into their house they'll find something else to charge them for, like child pornography or cocaine possession" Margaret explained.
"Hmmm...why can't we just kill em?" Melissa asked thoughtfully.
"It's too messy. It's just too messy. We need to find other ways to get at them" Margaret resolved.
I sat back amused but a little disturbed at the same time. I had neither done nor even entertained the idea of doing something like what they described.

At some point during our talk, the issue of homosexuality in the black community came up. I contended that black homosexuals couldn't be excluded from our fight for social justice for black people. Melissa cosigned saying that regardless of their sexual orientation they were still black. Occasionally Melissa would make moderate comments like this. Once she even said she believed we have to be more inclusive and allow more diverse people to participate in our struggle. Margaret had reservations about homosexuals in the black liberation movement though. During the group discussion earlier, Halpin raised the question of whether or not gay rights should be included in the broader Civil Rights Movement. Of course this is a ridiculous notion that Margaret, myself, and Melissa roundly rejected. You simply cannot compare the struggle to have our humanity recognized after 400 years of dehumanization and degradation to the struggle for marriage rights. Its an outrageous comparison. This is not to say that homosexuals don't have a legitimate cause to fight for--to each his own. But when the LGBT community lashes out at the black community for not supporting their cause more rigorously due to some deluded notion that we are allies, it another matter entirely. Where was the gay community when we were being water hosed and attacked by vicious dogs? Did they come to our defense? No they hid behind white privilege; they found security in their complexion because when its all said and done, you can hide your orientation. We can't hide being black. I believe when it comes down to it though, black homosexuals know where there allegiance lies. The ties of ethnicity and ancestral origin are stronger than the ties of orientation or chosen lifestyle. As Malcolm X said we don't catch hell because we're Baptist or Methodist, a Mason or an Elk. We catch hell because we're black. Black women knew this during the late 60's when the so called "Women's Liberation Movement" began picking up momentum. Black Women identified more with the black race's struggle against oppression than the [white] women's lib movement because the ties of race ran deeper.

We talked about "everything under the black sun" that night, as Melissa later said. Margaret taught Melissa and me many things neither of us knew. For instance, she said that the blacks who suffered during the Holocaust were victims of a sterilization program of the Nazis. She said that none of them received reparations either. Margaret probably trumped us both when it came to knowledge of black history. She was from Tanzania originally but flew from Austin, Texas for the retreat. When she was introducing herself in the CAP conference room earlier she mentioned that she dropped out of school, moved to Texas, and is now in community college trying to get back in the school she originally dropped out of. After hearing that my opinion of her was somewhat lowered. But boy did I misjudge. She was a Lutheran which was odd to me given her staunch Black Nationalist sentiments. She doesn't believe in black people uniting with anyone except one another, not even our Hispanic or Native American family. Melissa and I argued with her that their plight is the same as ours because we have a common enemy. Margaret was tenaciously opposed to the notion that our plights were similar, "We have totally different problems. They need to unite amongst themselves and we need to unite amongst ourselves". She accused Mexicans of being racist against black people and cited an incident of Mexicans demanding more Hispanics to be hired at a black owned company as evidence. "Blacks are racist against Mexicans too" I contended. She was given to the ridiculous notion that Mexicans were coming over the border stealing all our jobs. I told her that for us to fight with the Hispanics is like slaves fighting amongst themselves on the plantation. We're all victims of the exploitation of these white controlled corporations and businesses. She didn't want to hear it. Melissa agreed with me. She was more Pan-Africanist in her viewpoint. Although, Margaret said she believed in uniting with all our people throughout the Diaspora. That was confusing to me because I wasn't sure how she determined who was part of the Diaspora and who wasn't. In Brazil and much of Central and South America were Africans from the Diaspora. In fact, when the Europeans brought us over to the "new world" more were brought to Central and South America than were brought to the United States. The African ethnic presence below the border is very pronounced, despite their rejection of the African blood that runs through their veins. In Brazil, there are hundreds of different racial categories, showing how bad the ruling white Majority destroyed the identities of our people there. "Are mulattos considered part of the Diaspora?" I asked. She replied affirmatively and said that we should even unite with uncle tom's who don't realize they're black like Jameel. Convince them to use their intellect and talent to help our people. "I wonder if he know he's black?" Melissa questioned. "I wonder how he came to think the way he does." Margaret pondered aloud. These kinds of remarks about Jameel reoccurred all night. I joined in on the bashing, "He's white minded." I said simply.

Margaret told us that her and her family was the only blacks in their church. "He always feels the need to bring up race when he talks to me" she said speaking of her pastor. A brief silence took hold of the room. I took it back when I began talking about Martin Luther: "Martin Luther's decision to challenge the authority of the Pope and the Church wasn't solely theological you know. He had a political motivation. Germany had just been decimated due to the 100 year war and was struggling to rebuild. Meanwhile Rome was imposing taxes on Germany that crippled its attempts at economic recovery." She defended Luther saying that the Church was corrupt and he was against practices like the sale of indulgences. She asked me and Melissa if we had ever read Luther's 95 theses. Our response was delayed. I told her although I hadn't, I was familiar with them. I continued my critique of Luther, "What's ironic about Luther being the vanguard of the Protestant reformation is that he and Zwingli (another reformer) persecuted the Anabaptists for the same reason the Catholic Church persecuted heretics -- theological disagreements." She acknowledged this paradox and said that she heard some accuse Luther of being anti-semitic. "He was", I confirmed, "he wrote a book called 'The Jews and their Lies'." We all laughed. "Did yall hear about Sammy Sosa bleaching his skin?" Margaret asked changing the subject. Me and Melissa began looking the picture up on our phones. We sat there in disbelief. "Oh my God!" Melissa cried. He did a Michael Jackson. Black one day, white the next. The display of self-hate was so painfully blatant. It was despicable. Seeing the picture sparked new conversation. "We [black people] are like the perfect biological specimen" Melissa stated confidently. "Look at white people; they can't even stay in the sun long without developing all types of cancers". Margaret seconded the notion. Melissa continued to talk about how genetically weak they are and how they don't have environmentally adaptive qualities. The T.V. was on in the background. We all happened to look at it at the same time when the commercial for Sandra Bullock's new movie "The Blind Side" came on. "That movie is on some ole bullshit" Melissa said contemptuously.
"Here go Hollywood with that ole Great White Savior theme again" Margaret said with similar disgust.
The topic shifted to white women and their attraction toward black men. Melissa believed it was because they were after black men's money.
"What money!" I exclaimed, "they don't have any money!"
Margaret sided with me, "White women like to experience what its like to be with black men, that's why they're with them. If they wanted money, they'd go to the white man."
"I agree; white women (and men) have always had this fascination with black sexuality" I concluded.
"White women are disgusting" Melissa said finally.
The night consisted of many debates back and forth with the both of them rarely in agreement against me.

Except for one time.

Margaret said something about women's whorish ways being responsible for men's infidelity and lack of commitment.
"Yea I agree, The Honorable Elijah Muhammad said that where there are no decent women..."
"Did you just call him honorable?" Melissa interrupted, "didn't that nigga have like 5 wives...oh excuse me baby mamas"
"Yea teen secretaries." Margaret added, "that whole situation was sad."
My tongue was stymied. I didn't know what to say. I didn't how to defend my Messenger. I felt like I had denied him. What was wrong with me? Margaret asked us if we agreed with something that Malcolm X said and before she could finish Melissa interrupted, "I agree with everything Malcolm X said". She was nurtured philosophically by Malcolm X and the Black power movement which sprung from the soil of his message. But he was taught by Messenger Elijah Muhammad. The prominent black power advocates of the late 60's and early 70's paid homage to him. Elijah was saying black is beautiful before it was popular to say so. He was the real architect of the Black Power liberation movement of the 70's that called for a black cultural reawakening. That whole "Black is Back rally" she attended is part of the legacy of the Messenger. But I didn't say that to her. I didn't say anything. I fell silent. They weren't especially critical of the Messenger and as I said before credited the FBI for Malcolm X's assassination. The night was well spent. We had indeed talked about everything under the black sun.

It was 1:30 in the morning. Melissa said she was about to go crash. I got up behind her, "Yea I gotta get up early. My flight leaves at 9:00 a.m." We both gave Margaret a hug and she told us to keep in touch. She had written her email on a piece of paper earlier for both of us. When we got in the hall way, Melissa and I exchanged email addresses. "I'm gonna look you up when I come to California" was the last thing she said to me as she walked toward her room. "Definitely do that." I said punching the elevator button. When I got back to my room I sat and reflected on all that had happened in the past 36 hours. I was glad that I chose to hang with them the whole night. I learned so much about myself and about how varied the strains of black thought are. I had never before met such, radical, erudite, well-read, intellectual sistas in my life. We all came from totally different backgrounds with totally different walks of life: a Muslim separatist, a Lutheran black nationalist, and a secular leaning Pan-Africanist amidst a group of white progressives. The three of us, though different, having a common devotion to the struggle for liberation of our people.

And the rallying cry resounded throughout the earth, "Up you mighty race, you can accomplish what you will!"

I want to join the peace corp. I need to travel.

Andrew M. Manis is associate professor of history at Macon State College in Georgia and wrote this for an editorial in the Macon Telegraph.


Andrew M. Manis: When Are WE Going to Get Over It?

For much of the last forty years, ever since America "fixed" its race problem in the Civil Rights and Voting Rights Acts, we white people have been impatient with African Americans who continued to blame race for their difficulties. Often we have heard whites ask, "When are African Americans finally going to get over it?
Now I want to ask:
"When are we White Americans going to get over our ridiculous obsession with skin color?
Recent reports that "Election Spurs Hundreds' of Race Threats, Crimes" should frighten and infuriate every one of us. Having grown up in "Bombingham," Alabama in the 1960s, I remember overhearing an avalanche of comments about what many white classmates and their parents wanted to do to John and Bobby Kennedy and Martin Luther King.
Eventually, as you may recall, in all three cases, someone decided to do more than "talk the talk."

Since our recent presidential election, to our eternal shame we are once again hearing the same reprehensible talk I remember from my boyhood.


We white people have controlled political life in the disunited colonies and United States for some 400 years on this continent.
Conservative whites have been in power 28 of the last 40 years. Even during the eight Clinton years, conservatives in Congress blocked most of his agenda and pulled him to the right. Yet never in that period did I read any headlines suggesting that anyone was calling for the assassinations of presidents Nixon, Ford, Reagan, or either of the Bushes. Criticize them, yes.
Call for their impeachment, perhaps. But there were no bounties on their heads. And even when someone did try to kill Ronald Reagan, the perpetrator was non-political mental case who wanted merely to impress Jody Foster.


But elect a liberal who happens to be Black and we're back in the sixties again. At this point in our history, we should be proud that we've proven what conservatives are always saying -- that in America anything is possible, EVEN electing a black man as president.
But instead we now hear that school children from Maine to California are talking about wanting to "assassinate Obama."
Fighting the urge to throw up, I can only ask, "How long?"
How long before we white people realize we can't make our nation, much less the whole world, look like us?
How long until we white people can - once and for all - get over this hell-conceived preoccupation with skin color?
How long until we white people get over the demonic conviction that white skin makes us superior?
How long before we white people get over our bitter resentments about being demoted to the status of equality with non-whites?


How long before we get over our expectations that we should be at the head of the line merely because of our white skin?
How long until we white people end our silence and call out our peers when they share the latest racist jokes in the privacy of our white-only conversations?

I believe in free speech, but how long until we white people start making racist loudmouths as socially uncomfortable as we do flag burners?
How long until we white people will stop insisting that blacks exercise personal responsibility, build strong families, educate themselves enough to edit the Harvard Law Review, and work hard enough to become President of the United States, only to threaten to assassinate them when they do?


How long before we start "living out the true meaning" of our creeds, both civil and religious, that all men and women are created equal and that "red and yellow, black and white" all are precious in God's sight?
Until this past November 4, I didn't believe this country would ever elect an African American to the presidency. I still don't believe I'll live long enough to see us white people get over our racism problem.
But here's my three-point plan:
First, everyday that Barack Obama lives in the White House that Black Slaves Built, I'm going to pray that God (and the Secret Service) will protect him and his family from us white people.


Second, I'm going to report to the FBI any white person I overhear saying, in seriousness or in jest, anything of a threatening nature about President Obama.
Third, I'm going to pray to live long enough to see America surprise the world once again, when white people can "in spirit and in truth" sing of our damnable color prejudice,
"We HAVE overcome."
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It takes a Village to protect our President!!!